Today's lesson is quick and easy, keep yourself groomed to impress at all times! Why you ask? Simple, you never know when a nice piece of ass is going to fall right into your lap, and if you're anything like me, 9 out of 10 times you don't know that you're having sex until about 45 min beforehand. And you can sure as hell believe that's what happened last night.
The night was dwindling to an end, a cool breeze cleared the streets, but my posse and I were still up to no good. We were looking for trouble, and we found it in the form of three Australian cuties visiting New York for the week. Considering the night was ending there were two options: eat pizza or smoke weed and then eat pizza. The choice was simple. But after sparking that joint, the last thing on my mind was food. Literally, it was the last thing. What was the first thing on my mind, you ask? Booty! I don’t know about you, but when I smoke, I become the horniest person alive. I mean, no joke I can spend about 20 minutes licking your earlobe without even knowing it.
Anyway, I snuck one of them away from her crew and pulled the ol' 'let me show you my room' trick. And it worked. But I gotta tell you, that was the second time in two weeks a girl I brought home gave me the “I’m not prepared down there” speech. And, for the record, both times there was nothing wrong at all. Seriously, a little peach fuzz doesn't even cause me to blink!
But I know where she was coming from. I mean, the little things in life are what make us feel sexy, right?
That’s why, as hung over as I was today, I still got up and Nair'd my ass. Look, it's a Tuesday night, and I'll probably go out for a couple of drinks after work. And I know that when I have a smooth asshole I feel sexy.
Don't you?
So quick reminder, don't get caught unprepared. Get on a schedule that, no matter what, you don’t break, because life has a way of throwing unexpected obstacles at you and you never know when you or some Aussie you meet will want to take a trip "down under."
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